I used to work with a Ukrainian firebrand named Olga. She was...an unfiltered individual, and a lot of fun to work with. I enjoyed her stories about growing up in Ukraine, meeting her husband, and raising her daughter in a foreign culture. She also had great taste in music and is the same Olga who gifted me the "Brothers in Arms" CD mentioned in the now classic missive Rocktober 30, 2013.
Once she told us about a night she and her husband were at a gala. Her husband held up his end of the stereotypical hard-drinking Russian male and got sloshed at the event. At the end of the evening, Olga took his keys and proceeded to drive them home, taking the George Washington Memorial Parkway (GW Parkway if you want to sound like a local). Very picturesque and wooded during the day, the Parkway was particularly dark and isolated at night. On the way, she ran over road debris that shredded one of their tires. Luckily, they'd just come up to an exit, so Olga pulled off the road and up to a gate. I think she started berating her hubby for either being too drunk to change the tire or not keeping a proper spare when a couple of security guards opened the gate and approached.
They surveyed the situation, asked them to state their business, and then escorted them into the complex beyond the gate. Once inside, they were separated and questioned. Incessantly. Olga relayed her and her husband's evening itinerary and just asked to use a phone to call a cab and tow truck. She was met with poker face stares and more questions. Now, Olga being Olga, became very annoyed and asked to speak to a supervisor. I can just imagine the Russian epithets she was muttering under her breath about her detainers. Only more repetitive questions followed.
After the better part of an hour, she stopped the questioning and flatly declared she had to use the restroom. Her interrogators looked at each other, then nodded. One of them got up when Olga stood and followed her out of the interview room.
Her escort gave her directions and then followed her. Olga thought this was odd as he maintained position just a step behind and off to her left as she both quickened and slowed her pace. When she got to the ladies room she opened the door, and her escort stepped in just behind her.
She wheeled on him. "Excuse me?! I'm perfectly capable of doing this without supervision!"
Her shadow sighed. "Lady, you really have no idea where you are, do you?"
"I've told you 'No' repeatedly! We just happened to pull over in front of your gate because of a flat tire. Tell me, what is this place that thinks I can't go to the bathroom alone?"
"You're at CIA Headquarters."
Imagine the scene for the security guards. Cameras showed an unfamiliar vehicle parked just outside their gate. When they investigate, they find a couple dressed to the nines arguing in Russian. The world's premier spy agency does not readily believe in coincidences as Olga and her husband ruefully discovered.
This slight chill in East-West relations likely didn't move the hands of the Doomsday clock, nor did it stoke the ashes of the Cold War into a full blaze. However, it's the perfect showcase for Survivor's "Burning Heart", used in the Rocky vs. Drago matchup in the 4th iteration of the Rocky Balboa franchise. "Two worlds collide, rival nations," indeed. Give 'em hell, Olga.
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