I was once trying to explain to a supervisor that the requirement we'd been given would greatly increase our workload but would gain us very little operationally. He couldn't see my point so I told him a story.
The USS Conyngham (DDG 17) was on a training cruise off the Virginia coast in May of 1990 when a massive fuel oil fire broke out. The all hands effort that ensued was a 23 hour battle to save the ship. Unfortunately, she lost 1 sailor and 18 were severely wounded. The Navy issued more than 50 medals to the crew as a result of their actions.
When the Conyngham got back to Norfolk, I was able to tour the fire zone. The space was a continuous black char. Throughout, massive reinforcing timbers were erected, making it look like some nightmare forest. As I walked around, the deck rose and fell under my feet like a crazy funhouse room at the carnival. I shot a glance to our guide and he just nodded grimly, "Yeah, the entire deck was close to buckling." We made our way back to the dock and we passed sailors scraping the superstructure and painting. Back on the pier, I watched Navy divers hit the water near her stern. A little while later a crane lifted her massive screw from the water and laid it gently on a barge. I looked back up at her decks at her sailors painting and just shook my head.
The Conyngham was never again going to move under her own steam. Her forward boiler room was gone, CIC was gutted, and her screw was floating away. Yet, someone thought it would be a good exercise to give her a fresh coat of paint.
So as I was trying to explain to my supervisor that we would see very little gain for the amount of work we put in, I told him he was "painting the Conyngham."
There, it's out now. Feel free to use it in normal discourse, particularly with your supervisors. However, I want credit...
