Rock-tober 12, 2025

One evening, back in the '90s, Andrea and I were watching the sitcom, Tool Time. During this particular episode, Tim Allen's character breaks out into a rendition of Johnny Horton's "The Battle of New Orleans." I started laughing because I knew the verse he was singing, and, more dramatically, I  started singing along. It was as funny to me then as it was to10-year-old me when he first heard it back in 1980.

We fired our cannon 'til the barrel melted down

So we grabbed an alligator and we fought another round

We filled his head with cannonballs 'n' powdered his behind

And when we touched the powder off, the gator lost his mind

Andrea just looked at me in confusion, "What?! What song was he singing? And why do you know it?!" 

The episode ended and the credits rolled, but I continued laughing at the hilarity, because, really, when's the last time Johnny Horton got air time on broadcast TV? This song was recorded and released in 1959, a full 10 years before I was born. Yet, in 1980, 10-year old me strode into a record store and blew past the hottest albums that year by Blondie, Pink Floyd, and Queen. Contrarian me, instead, plunked down my hard earned allowance for an album released by an artist who passed away 20 years earlier.

I think, even after all these years, Andrea still underestimates how varied and far back my musical tastes go. As a kid, I'd worn out 8-tracks of Roger Whittaker and Marty Robbins. Now, looking at the continuum of release dates for music in my playlists, the top end rarely goes later than the mid-'90s. The bottom end, however, predates '70s mainstream and the '60s British invasion. Currently, in this house, I have recordings from the '50s by Nat King Cole, Eddy Arnold, and The Platters.

My younger coworkers would describe these tracks as "oldies from the 'mid-1900s'". I squared up on one of them, preparing to issue an "old guy diatribe", but I had to stop myself when I realized, "Well, he's not wrong."

I suppose I should be grateful that my younger colleagues at least recognize these tunes as 20th-century creations. I'm half-expecting the day when one of them asks if Johnny Horton was one of the founding fathers. Until then, I'll keep surprising Andrea with my repertoire of vintage lyrics – gator cannons and all.

Johnny Horton - Battle Of New Orleans