Years ago, I'd be hanging with a former coworker, Mike, after the pair of us dealt heavy damage to one of the local Indian lunch buffets. After each of these excursions, we'd always lethargically, but sincerely swear on a stack of tech manuals to be more judicious on the next buffet run, vowing to ensure the other practiced restraint. This pledge would be held sacrosanct until the next buffet run.
Mike was prior military, having spent time in Germany with an artillery brigade. He and I recognized our conditioning was lacking and that we'd drifted from the nearly daily physical training in our 20s. In my 20s, I didn't mind running hills, in heat, or even in the rain. Somewhere along the way, I either got soft or extremely more judicious about running conditions. Too hot, too cold, or it's an odd numbered day? Pfft. I'm inclined to ignore the alarm and grab more time in the rack.
So, Mike and I, being avid gamers, let our imaginations run wild. We thought it would be brilliant and a great cardio workout if games could be more realistic in real life. Is your virtual avatar swinging a 12-pound war hammer on campaigns? In our immersive version, you weren't holding a dinky ten-ounce controller, you'd literally be swinging a 12-pound sledge. Did you underestimate that zombie horde and decide to beat feet? You better hope your speed on our hyper-realistic game's treadmill was faster than the hungry mob bearing down on you. We'd basically envisioned the Nintendo Wii and Oculus VR years before those devices came to market.
Fast forwarding nearly two decades, Andrea and I purchased a high-end treadmill. This behemoth was massive and required the vendor to deliver and haul the crates to an upstairs bedroom. Once assembled and online, this apparatus being a mere twelve vertical feet above where I slept, effectively negated any weather-related excuse I'd had to not clock some mileage.
Exploring the capabilities of this thing, I discovered an eye opening feature. There was an entertainment module that contained training regimens in various music genres. One of the workouts was tantalizingly labeled, "Mötley Crüe - 30 Minute Run".
"Awww yeeeaaahhh!"
Hitting the "Start" button launched a line contour landscape with hills and paths. When the soundtrack kicked in, you guided your avatar around the track by manipulating the speed and incline dials on the treadmill. The onscreen pacing guides, showing target speed and incline, varied based on the music, jumping during guitar riffs or a heavy chorus. You earned points by matching what was posted. Feeling particularly energetic? You could max out points by exceeding the guides. As the soundtrack unwound, the difficulty kept building. Soon, with Tommy Lee laying down a heavy beat and Vince screaming in your ear, you're running a 15-minute mile up a 5° incline. While child's play for some folks, to me it felt like a sadistic version of Guitar Hero.
In the end, I might not have been swinging a physical 12-pound mace or running at flank speed from a final boss, but Peloton came damn close to what Mike and I dreamed up. Now I just have to figure out how to do the "be judicious at the neighborhood Indian buffet" part.
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