Rock-tober 13, 2024

Spending time in Auburn these past few weeks, several old stories have resurfaced.

A few nights ago, Andrea and I were having dinner with her sisters. As we sat around the table, the conversation turned to a weekly dinner hosted by their church. We had the idea of incorporating the event into the house schedule as a regular social outing for the sisters. Andrea mentioned the weekly dinner had been a standard, recurring event at that church for decades. With a glint in her eye, she outed me. "You know, when Wayne was a student here, before he met me, he had a crush on the young lady who ran that program."

Demure chuckles were heard. "What?! He did!? Tell us more!"

"Yes, he was there every week." Andrea was enjoying this a little too much. "He’d go from table to table greeting people, lend a hand as a server, and wash dishes afterward hoping to spend time with her."

Andrea’s sisters were picking up on her vibe and piled on. In a Scarlett O’Hara accent, Marie asked, “Why, Wayne, did you ask her on a date?”

I shook my head. “It didn’t work out,” was my taciturn reply.

With the faintest hint of a smile, Andrea went for the kill shot, “Why didn’t it work out, Wayne?”

With a resigned sigh, I set both hands on the table, sat back in my seat, and waited for the inevitable. “She was already…attached.”

“Oh, she had a boyfriend?”

“Not quite,” I continued. The sisters looked at me expectantly while Andrea now sat back in her chair enjoying me squirming in the hotseat. “Somehow, unbeknownst to me, she was already engaged.”

This brought on a chorus of “Aww,” from the sisters and, “Wow, that must have been embarrassing,” from Andrea.

Andrea’s little sister attempted to ease my chagrin. Smiling adoringly at Andrea, she cajoled, “Well, that’s all right. Things turned out A.O.K. You’re with Andrea now.” The faintest glimmer of a plan to play an Uno reverse card came to mind.

“Yeah…I guess…. It’s just that…” hamming up the demoralized demeanor, I let my voice trail off.

Marie was now concerned. “Why? What’s wrong?” She was still looking at Andrea, but her eyes narrowed, and she was no longer smiling.

I leaned over and whispered like I was revealing a state secret. “It’s just that, well, you know, a wife,” nodding towards Andrea, “can be very expensive.” Shaking my head for dramatic effect, and with an Oscar worthy, pained look on my face, I added, “Very draining.”

Andrea’s mischievous smirk receded while mine began to show. She protested, “Hey, now, hold on!”

Marie’s arms were now crossed as she looked sternly at Andrea. “Andrea! What have you been doing? You better not have been mean to Wayne!”

While Andrea lodged her protestations, her other sister chimed in, “Yeah, Andi! What’d you do?!”

The sisterly squabble went on without me, and as the din over Andrea’s infractions faded into the background, I turned my attention back to my dinner.

 

Poison - Every Rose Has Its Thorn